We put this on a timer to be posted on Thanksgiving Day, since it is such appropriate pre-feast reading to work up an appetite. So before we get down to the smut, allow me offer my finest regards and a Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. You're a bunch of opinionated pricks, don't ever change. Now on to the smut.

I know that as recently as last week I claimed that overexposure to porn is a growing problem for men who can't control themselves, but when Matty Flonase asked me to assist him in finding the best stars in the business all I could do was oblige. Who knows when I'll need a favor from that bastard or even a fallout shelter. Plus, it's porn, not black-tar heroin; even the most severe addicts can still lead semi-normal lives.

As you have seen, Matt took the brunettes while I got the joy of finding the blondes. Which is like giving me a glass of garbage water to quench my thirst. I love a good blonde, God dammit I do, but good blondes in porn are hard to find. Damn hard. Because most blondes in porn carry that "slut factor," which I love, but they aren't always dimes, especially when you are asked to uncover 40 of them.

Since women change the color of their hair more frequently than most of us bathe, some of these broads might have brown, red, or some technicolor hair by now. They are, however, a shade of blonde in these pictures, I can tell you that much. Oh yeah, and I can also tell you since they ("they" being those in charge) killed all my NSFW dreams of posting nudity awhile ago, all these chicks are not topless. It's like when they told the Mailman he couldn't wear the LA Gear with the lights, but only way worse.

The girls are in alphabetical order and there is a fun fact included for each.

Alanah Rae

Fun Fact: Rae broke into porn in 2008 and has 36DD tits. I also read that she once said that in an ideal world her perfect man would have a vein-less dick.

Alexis Texas

Fun Fact: Her most revered work is entitled "Alexis Texas is Buttwoman." In 2010 Buttwoman fittingly won the F.A.M.E. Award for Favorite Ass.

Allison Angel

Fun Fact: This lover of dirt bikes recently decided to call it a career, hang her tits and ass up, leave the best business in the world, and become a real-life nurse. Frumpy fucking scrubs and all. Tragic.

Amy Ried

Fun Fact: This former mechanical engineering major (really?) has been in over 300 adult films. She also isn't one to back down when it comes to getting fucked in the fartbox.

Angie Savage

Fun Fact: This beaut's backside is tatted up with wings and other kinds of shit but the most interesting thing I could find out about Ms. Savage is that her tit job is so bunk that when squeezed together they look fucking cross-eyed. See for yourself, it's spectacular.

Angelina Armani (AKA Arianna)

Fun Fact: Brooklyn-born Armani won Best New Starlet at the 2010 AVN Awards. She has also been in the Funny or Die skit, "Designated Driver."

Annette Dawn

Fun Fact: I whacked off to her about a week ago. Not only is that fun, but it's factual.

Ashlynn Brooke

Fun Fact: Prior to porn, she actually held a job as a used-car salesperson. Now the only lemon she's selling is that twat of hers. Boo ya! But really, she's hot as all hell. Good for her.

Brea Bennett

Fun Fact: Bennett grew up loving music and singing opera. Well, instead of that shitty career, she went on to win the title of Jenna Jameson's American Sex Star in 2007.

Brea Lynn

Fun Fact: She is currently one of the top stars in the game but in 2008 this former nursing student turned cock gobbler took what many believed to be a permanent hiatus from the industry. Luckily for us, somewhere along the way she found Jesus and he put her in her place.